Lock it in, fast!

"Listen to me, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Believe in the Lord your God, and you will be able to stand firm. Believe in his prophets, and you will succeed." - 2 Chronicles 20:20

Hey, let me ask you something: have you ever been in a season where you felt just undisciplined? Maybe you were once focused on a goal or passion project and then suddenly just...fell off.

So, I can admit that I definitely lost a bit of focus in the latter half of the year - particularly with my gym and eating habits.

I feel like it began in September when my husband and I went on a cruise for our anniversary. If you know anything about cruises, there is a plethora of UNLIMITED food options. This was our vacation so I definitely took advantage of everything from the endless buffets to the fine dining to the unlimited free ice cream cones! My caloric intake was the least of my concerns (although my husband and I did work out a few times during the cruise!)

While I thoroughly enjoyed our vacay, when we got home, I found it hard to get back into the groove of healthy eating and exercising. The change in time and my busy schedule made skipping workouts a lot more appealing. That same busy schedule made it hard to make time to prep healthy meals, so I definitely found myself eating "cruise like" options more often.

Not only was this affecting my appearance physically, but I felt a little "sluggish" in my mental and spiritual life as well. With every unhealthy choice I made, I felt like I was chipping away at the self-discipline that God had worked in me to build. At the same time, I was also feeling this growing distance from God. With that, came a strong need for clarity - clarity that I could only get from Him.

I'd been feeling this need to fast, but I'll be transparent with you: as important as I understand that it is for spiritual growth, I've never actually done one. As the thought came to me to fast, questions and thoughts kinda bombarded my mind:

How/when do I officially start it?

What was it that I needed to fast from?

Am I doing this for the right reasons?

I don't want to fail at this.

I prayed and asked God for assurance if this was what I needed to move forward with and different posts would pop up on my social media feeds about fasting. Ok, this feels like a cue from Heaven...

...but really, how/when, Lord?

As I type in this moment, I'm thinking that I should've (should) seek wise counsel to learn more about fasting. Of course, I did what so many of us do: I googled and read different articles. After reading one, I remember opening up the notes app on my phone and jotting down the things that I felt that I'd grown a dependence on other than God. Typically, when you think fasting, you think food but, if you sit with it, there might be other things in your life that distract you from growing a deeper relationship with God, like social media, sex, etc.

So, after months of prayer, reading articles, and just really feeling the need for more clarity and intimacy with the Lord, I felt that this was truly needed. I can't remember what exact moment it was as I think about it - likely at some point in the last couple of weeks - but I made the decision to lock in spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Confession: as much as I've declared it a fast in my heart and mind, I've found it challenging to declare it as a fast to others. Somewhat because of the insecurities, that I expressed above, to others. Also, there's a piece of me that felt like I just wanted to keep this time sacred - just me and Jesus. As I write this post in this moment, I'm understanding that a piece of the clarity that I needed was to declare what I believe and not shy away from what I'm doing!

With prayer, I'm gaining an understanding of some of things that I not only need to refrain from during this time, but begin doing again:

For the past week or so, I've cut out (most) processed sugar. I found myself hooked to candy, cakes, and all sorts of sugary snacks - it was time to replace these with healthier options. Fortunately, I had a quiet Saturday where I was able to meal prep, both dinner and healthy snacks!

I had to give up my gum. In moments when I feel anxious, I'll often chew gum to help calm my nerves. Sometimes I've gone through a whole pack in a few days! Those moments, I will seek comfort from God first and foremost.

I had to get back exercising and stewarding my body well. So far, I've gotten back in the gym and worked out at home for the past couple of weeks. It's felt great to get my body back moving (finally!). Only catch is that I'm a little sore from my body not working those muscles...but I know it's going to get easier.

In moments that I'd typically mindlessly scroll or watch social media, I'm finding myself turning to sermons and other inspirational content instead. I typically will a read a devotional every morning, but I find that when I read scripture, meditate on the words, and write what comes to me, God reveals so much in the scriptures. I've been trying make more of an effort to do this lately. Most importantly, I'm feeling more connected in my relationship with God. So far, I'm gaining more clarity on my identity in Christ and understanding a little more about the purpose He has for my life.

Honestly, it's felt like more than a fast...more of a training ground - preparing me for the season of life ahead. I don't know what's ahead, but I'll need Jesus every step of the way!

Have you ever fasted before? What was your experience like? Let me know in the comments below!

(Sidenote: I originally sat down to write this post to encourage you to meal prep - hence all of the pictures of my meal prep process! As you can see, I was redirected another direction! If you'd like to hear more about that, let me know as well!)