I wanna be the leader.

In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:16-17

Today was a longgg day...but in such a fun way! One thing that I love to do is plan and decorate for events - even though it happens stress me out at the same time! So grateful that, aside from personal and family events, God has blessed me with the opportunity to use those talents in my career as well.

I've been helping with events for our social committee for a few years now and it was time for our statewide fall retreat. When I got back from my anniversary vacation, I found out that I was nominated by the committee to lead our region's events. This meant leading our plans for food (breakfast, lunch, and snacks), helping to facilitate the event, and any other fun details that we wanted to add.

Excited about the possibilities, I accepted the task. Admittedly, I was also a bit nervous...

*gulp*

From a young age, I've always felt in my heart that I was meant to lead. Quite possibly because I'm an oldest child by birth...but I'd say it's more than that -

I've always been a visionary. I'm constantly seeking opportunities to innovate and make things better for others.

I'm a very thorough planner (even though my discipline to complete the plans could use a little help sometimes!).

I've always desired to build community in some way.

As strong as my desire to lead has been throughout my life, it hasn't always gone like I've hoped.

Off the top of my head, here are a few examples that I can think of:

Started a neighborhood club, "Blacktown," at age 10 where I was President. (Sidenote: I was a HUGE Babysitters Club fan and I modeled the club after the book!). While there were maybe 3 loyal members, a few other members decided that they could make better clubs and attempted to start ones of their own...

In 11th grade, I ran for Student Body Vice-President. I went all out for the campaign - created posters to hang in every building, wrote a riveting speech, anddd passed out flyers BESIDE my friend who was passing out cookies! Did I win? Nah. The girl who won posted ONE small poster in the Earth Science building for her campaign and, with popularity, took the election!

Ok, last one and we'll move on...

When I lead meetings with my colleagues, I sometimes get this "small" feeling, especially with colleagues who are older and more experienced than me. This might translate into stumbling over my words, talking fast, and sometimes becoming so "agreeable" that I feel like I've given up my leadership...

So, yeah.

These are just a few examples where my confidence to lead has taken a hit...but even though I've fallen down a few (or more) times, that desire to lead never leaves me.

Lately, God has really been placing me in positions to lead -

In church, I'm the 2024 chair of our women's planning committee. I'm also leading the charge on developing a mentor program for middle school-aged girls.

For Blessed Girl Problems, I'm technically the leader. If you know anything about being a content creator, you play several roles. (Especially if it's just you!)

Now...I'm leading our social committee at work.

Crazy enough, these are all the types of positions that I've desired to lead in: I get to create from scratch. I get to help build community. I get to create change. I get to have fun...

...but again: it scares me a little. I've spent all of this time imagining what it would be like in my head...and now it's finally time to show and prove!

Can I actually do it though? Am I actually the leader that I think that I am?

Yes.

Yes, I can.

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

As I mentioned, the desire to lead NEVER leaves me.

Even when I stumble.

Even when I doubt.

That lets me know that it's a part of my God-given purpose here on this earth. He literally knitted it in me when He created me in my mother's womb. I am a leader.

Maybe you don't feel as strongly about being a leader, but I'm sure there's some burning desire in your heart. You've felt it most of your life. Maybe you've learned to ignore it...maybe disappointments have created lasting doubts...

...but don't you fall for the world's discouragement when it tries to tell you who you are. Hold on to that burning desire that God has given you. THAT'S who you are. That's who He made you to be.

Just wanted to remind you of that tonight.

But errrr this post is getting long - let's wrap this up!

So, today was the Fall event that I was telling you about. Admittedly, it was different having everyone looking to me for direction, but I felt God's assurance that I could do it. Everything ended up turning out so well - even better than we'd planned!

Throughout the post, you'll see pics of our breakfast setup, a caramel apple bar we created (SOOO good!), and a mini carnival setup with cotton candy and popcorn ☺️

I thank God for entrusting me with these opportunities to lead others. I pray that He will continue to develop my abilities and give me the courage and the wisdom to use them.

Alright, y'all. I been up since 7:15 am but wanted to get this blog post out. Hope that it blessed y'all! Until next time, I love you. Live your life in YELLOW! 💛