Can I be happy?

C'mon, just a little happiness! Open wideee...

"Surely goodness and mercy and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, And I shall dwell forever [throughout all my days] in the house and in the presence of the Lord" Psalms 23:6 AMP

*yawns and stretches*

Today I woke up to a beautiful, blue sunny day. The best part? I knew that I was OFF today! 🙂 Not that I don't enjoy my job, but everyone needs days with no obligations at all.

I reached for my phone (like most people in this smartphone age!). Normally, I try to make my Bible app the first thing that I go to on my phone...but today I ended up on Instagram.

One of the first posts to pop up on my timeline was an inspirational post from one of my FAVESSS: Tabitha Brown (or Auntie Tab in my head!)

In the video, she delivered a Word that God have given her: Surrender to your happiness.

Surrender to happiness? One would think that would be easy. Isn't that what we're all striving for?

The truth is, it's a lot easier said than done. Especially, if you're used to being hurt, disappointed, lost, remorseful, or overlooked. You can actually get used to playing a certain "role" in life.

But, what happens when God truly blesses you, gives you a season of overflow, and everything seems to be going well?

Speaking from someone who has worked/is working through getting out of my "role," I can tell you that as wonderful as it is...it can also be overwhelming!

Like...

"Am I worthy of all of this?"

"This all seems too good to be true..."

"Something has to be wrong!"

These are all thoughts that I've had (and maybe you've had them too).

Let's pick on me for a second:

I was very single for (what seemed like) forever! During this time, I cried, prayed, begged God to send the man who was for me. After years of feeling like my prayers had fallen on deaf ears, I began to feel overlooked...and with that feeling, I began to feel inadequate, like there was something wrong with me...

So, I guarded my heart. As much as my heart longed for someone to love, I was not going to get my hopes up...

Until...

God sent the man of my dreams back around - out of the clear blue!

I remember my friends asking me how our first date went and I said: Scary...

Scary???

Looking back, it probably felt scary because I just found myself letting down walls with him that I didn't normally let down. He was amazing - loves God, we vibe really well, he's silly, he's intelligent, he's kind, he's FINE - all of the things that I'd asked God for.

But here I was - doubting it all.

"This man is too good for me..."

"But, are we really meant to be together..."

Am I ready for this?

[Insert a nitpicky difference/expectation here]

The closer we got, the more I tried to run away.

Weirdly, the more that I saw God blessing me with a new relationship, the more my old single life seemed appealing...The same single life that I wanted out of, I was now creating a case in my head for:

"With the single life, I can come and go as I please...there's no one to communicate with...I can spend more time with my family...maybe it's better to stay single..."

HUH??!

Why was it so hard to accept my blessing that I'd waited sooo long for when it was staring me right in the face?!

Gratefully, God brought me back to him every time I tried to run! I'm blessed that he was so patient with me through all of my back and forth...(I also had an amazing counselor to talk me out of my crazy every time I tried to throw it all away!).

Each day that went by, it became clearer and clearer that we were truly meant to be together. As hard as I tried to fight it...as much as fear tried to get in the way: I loved him so much. He was my blessing!

On September 25, 2022, I fully surrendered to my happiness and married my husband, Quentin, the love of my life.

I used my romantic/love example to illustrate my point but, whatever area in your life that God is trying to give you peace and happiness, accept it. Remember: God is Love. Know that He loves you deeply and, as your Father, He wants the very best for you. Yes, you go through challenges in life, but He loves you so much that He makes every part of this journey work out for your good.

You may be asking yourself: but am I worthy of it? The answer is yes, but not based on anything that you've done or haven't done...but on the grace that was freely given to us in Christ Jesus. Accept His love!

Speaking of surrendering to happiness, I decided to make the most of my day off...

• I got dressed up for no reason at all - because it made me happy!

• I took a random road trip to Pilot State Mountain State Park. They have a scenic overlook that you can drive up to (Beautiful view that you don't have to hike for? Uhhk!). The adventure and views turned out to be just what I needed. It's something about the beach and the mountains that just puts our lives into perspective - we realize how small we really are! Not to mention, I was able to get some cute content for today's post!

• Decided to pop into Hanes Mall to search for some sweaters for the winter. Ended up going to Vicky's Secret and saw that they had a sale for $20 bras - if you know Victoria's Secret, you know that's a deal!

I know that this post is loaded with content today- but I hope that you enjoyed. Make sure you take my Auntie Tab's advice and surrender to your happiness!

BONUS: I took all of these pics with a tripod and my phone on self-timer. Just as the timer was about to finish, a bee swarmed into my pic - here's real life footage of me running away from all flying insects! 😂